My side

If I thought people would listen
I’d say my mind
My heartaches
So unbelievably so
I wish for things to be different
For me not to be so lonely
Or for this to be just self pity
Things so easy to overcome
But alas it is not
So many have left
Dropped me like a dime
Not all their fault
but alas not all mine
I wish it was different
That I had the chance
To make things right
To have what others have
I have a heart so full
A Spirit so worthy
A soul so desired
To be someone better than this
To not be alone
To not have a heart that aches
Eyes that cry
What I wouldn’t do
Just to know
If when I needed it most
There would be people by my side

Copyright 2015 ~SMH~

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I found pictures of you the other day
Pictures I didn’t even know I had
Memories of a different time
Emotions I tried to let go of
Convinced myself I had some time ago
Yet there they were
In those eyes
A smile so kind
A heart so pure
Flood gates opened
It all came pouring out
Something I’ll never understand
That time was many years behind
You’ve moved on
You don’t even think of me
My heart knows this is true
Still I think of you
More often than I should
That time under the Fourth of July sky
Things I wanted memories to make
I knew it wasn’t meant to be
Or maybe I was afraid it was
You had your fears too
The timing just wasn’t right
Maybe it was you
Maybe it was me
Maybe it was both
Things that no longer matter
The path has long been covered with dust
You have your life now
It’s me that’s still holding on
To what I no longer know
Love that I thought I had
Fighting I should have done
Things I should have said
An immature girl back then
She wouldn’t have known better
She’d have needed today
Looking at pictures of you
Ones she didn’t know she had
Those beautiful eyes
A gentle smile
A friend long lost
A heart still pained
Not sure what to say
What I should do
Knowing deep what I must
Only being able to wish for the worst
Doing what I can to forget about us

~SMH 2015~