Within

I look in the mirror
People’s words ring through
Some I shake off
Some linger on

Color of my skin
Sound of my voice
Color of my eyes
The hair on my head

Judgments
Assumptions
Thinking they know it all
Categorizing by looks alone

Things they don’t know
Tattoos I don’t show
Scars hidden away
Much more than can be seen

Not even half of who I am
So much more than meets the eye
Never getting a chance to show
What’s inside is the story to be told

Still these things don’t seem to matter
As image is what they care about
Opinions do not bother
All this has made me stronger

It is they that miss out on what is
Not getting past my looks
For looks do not define me
Because I’m well aware of who’s within

Copyright 2015 ~SMH~

Glass

Days pass by
Time flies
Before I know
Years are gone

Waiting patiently
For promises made
Friends by my side
Family to my aid

Moments never come
Another promise broken
As if I don’t exist
As if I don’t matter

Am I a flower upon the wall
Invisible to the naked eye
So easy to forget
Just the same to ignore

Is it my giving nature
My charitable heart
Forgiveness that I live by
Not worth the time to fight

Is it that I stand my ground
Don’t yell loud enough
See me see me see me
Refusing to pass the middle

I’ve given all I’ve had
Trying so hard to be seen
Still alas I’m looked through
As if I’m nothing more than glass

Copyright 2015 ~SMH~

Out of Hand

This has gotten out of hand
The world we live
Self-righteousness
Sanctimoniousness

Not our place to judge
Yet we do it everyday
Telling others what to do
Decisions not ours to make

Banning others for who they are
Discrimination
Assumptions
Wrong before right

Against each other
In a country united
Trying to make it a better land
Taking away what made it free

This has gotten out of hand
The land we live
Pushing others away
All to reinforce the simple

We know who we are
Our beliefs
Our morals
Our selves

Why is it we must
Change who others are
Be in control
When it is our self that is really lost

Copyright 2015 ~SMH~

Miss You

You crossed my mind today
Like so many days before
Out of nowhere
A storm rolling in

The good times
Fun we had
Talks we shared
Laughs so endless

Our first kiss
The first time
Wrapped in your arms
In the moment

So often your image dances
Through my mind
Wading in and out
Like high tide

Then there is the pain
As our story plays
Beginning to end
The words you said

All the decisions made
My forgiveness
Giving you what you wanted
Endless friendship

All comes flooding back
Aching that never ceases
Suffocating heartbreak
Devastating despair

Tears fill my eyes
I shake my head
Refusing to give in
Feeling all that broke before

You chose another to have
So hurt I will not
Because me missing you
That you don’t deserve

Copyright 2015 ~SMH~

Sand

Sun causes the grains to glisten
Brown and white crystals
Miles to each side
Miles behind and in front

Sandy mess making up the land
The place where I sit
Gracing the water’s edge
Ocean’s playground

Riddled with shells
Disposal for the remnants
Particles of the sea
Big and small

My peaceful haven
Watching sand crabs dig
Waves crashing
A beautiful oasis

My heart is at peace
My soul is free
Knowing I will take this with me
In the sand that never goes away

Copyright 2015~SMH~

Cluttered

So filled
The mind that is mine
Millions of thoughts
Thousands of memories

Swimming around
Bumping into one another
Merging relentlessly
Combining with that they shouldn’t

Pushing
Shoving
Disappearing
Vanishing

Overpowering the positive
Overwhelming the necessary
Thoughts grasping at ropes
Trying to breath

All these negative thoughts
Taking over my mind
Not because they’re plentiful
Not because they should

Forgetting things I never did
Wishing for a clearer head
What I wouldn’t do
To clear this cluttered mind

Copyright 2015 ~SMH~

Jilted

They’re a funny crowd
Those jilted ones
The poor little me
Everyone left

I can’t trust anyone
They’re all two-faced
I did nothing wrong
This is what I get in return

They sit on their stool
Whining about it all
How they were wronged
How they were betrayed

Blaming all those in their life
For the sacrifices they didn’t make
Their sanctimonious meddling
With innocence they portray

They’re a funny little bit
Those that were jilted
Not realizing the truth may be
They’re not as innocent as they may seem

Copyright 2015 ~SMH~

How

I often wonder
Sitting alone
Waiting to be noticed
How to become one of those

The fortunate ones
With friends crawling over themselves
Helping hands all around

How do I become the interesting one
People hanging on my every word
Not being able to wait to hear about my week
Adventures that I might have had

I wonder where it is I went wrong
To become this girl
The wallflower
Only to be noticed by a few

This should be enough
But dreams waiting make it hard
Resources are needed
Support required

Alas what is there
Limited and few
Never enough to help
Just enough to say it’s there

Struggling to not drown
Stay true to dreams that do not succeed
Simply because she’s mostly unseen
Always one behind the crowd

This should be enough to make me strong
Still weakness is found
Not knowing how to grow
Or to become the popular kind of girl

Copyright 2015 ~SMH~

My side

If I thought people would listen
I’d say my mind
My heartaches
So unbelievably so
I wish for things to be different
For me not to be so lonely
Or for this to be just self pity
Things so easy to overcome
But alas it is not
So many have left
Dropped me like a dime
Not all their fault
but alas not all mine
I wish it was different
That I had the chance
To make things right
To have what others have
I have a heart so full
A Spirit so worthy
A soul so desired
To be someone better than this
To not be alone
To not have a heart that aches
Eyes that cry
What I wouldn’t do
Just to know
If when I needed it most
There would be people by my side

Copyright 2015 ~SMH~

Us

I found pictures of you the other day
Pictures I didn’t even know I had
Memories of a different time
Emotions I tried to let go of
Convinced myself I had some time ago
Yet there they were
In those eyes
A smile so kind
A heart so pure
Flood gates opened
It all came pouring out
Something I’ll never understand
That time was many years behind
You’ve moved on
You don’t even think of me
My heart knows this is true
Still I think of you
More often than I should
That time under the Fourth of July sky
Things I wanted memories to make
I knew it wasn’t meant to be
Or maybe I was afraid it was
You had your fears too
The timing just wasn’t right
Maybe it was you
Maybe it was me
Maybe it was both
Things that no longer matter
The path has long been covered with dust
You have your life now
It’s me that’s still holding on
To what I no longer know
Love that I thought I had
Fighting I should have done
Things I should have said
An immature girl back then
She wouldn’t have known better
She’d have needed today
Looking at pictures of you
Ones she didn’t know she had
Those beautiful eyes
A gentle smile
A friend long lost
A heart still pained
Not sure what to say
What I should do
Knowing deep what I must
Only being able to wish for the worst
Doing what I can to forget about us

~SMH 2015~